a little story on her...

many people, including known and unknown asked me the same question, 'WHY?'.. by answering this question, i would reply to them, 'why?' as well..puzzled? cos wat they intend to ask me is 'why u'll ever fall for her?'.. after some hard thinking, it made me think tat 'why i cant fall for her?wats wrong?'..for girls, they feel puzzled cos it will never cross their mind tat i'll be wit a girl,and to be precise, they call it TB (tomboy)..for guys, they feel tat its unbelivable,and some even told me tat it is such a waste..lolx..firstly,i would like to thanks them for their compliments tat im cute or pretty and it would be a waste to fall for a girl instead of guys,which made them feel that they dun have any chances in wooing me..however,some thinks tat they hav more chances to make me fall for them(the guys) as im wit a girl,rather than a guy..

im not a born lesbian(as most people define the term lesbian when girls are wit girls)..to be clear,tis is the first and only relation tat im involve wit a girl..why? i've never really think of this question,when i first started wit her..its jus tat she never really give me tat kind of feeling tat she's a 'girl'..she protects me and stand up for me,jus like normal guys will do..and better,she cares for me more than any guys tat i've ever been wit..most importantly,she made me feel tat she's wit me absolutely is because she loves me,not for anything else..for instance, tell a guy tat u couldnt have sex wit them,it will pissed them off..she never asks for sex..she respects me and care for my feelings..okay,we'll not talk abt sex part here..lolx..cos many of my frens(especially girls) will alwiz wonder how is the sexlife wit a girl would be.. >.<

as time passes by, more and more things happen between us..it strenghtens our love, and our feelings towards each other grows..sometimes i will think abt the question tat my fren asked me, 'why'..why i'll love her so dearly? why is our relation differs so much compared to my past relations? why?.. soon,each and every thing she do reminds me of why will i love her so much..sometimes it even surprised me of wat i could do to her..in the sense of protecting her..as our relation grows,i noticed she's jus hard on the outside,and soft in the inside..mayb as she's a TB,she needs to look brave and protective..im happy tat my characters of protective works here wit her..mayb tats why we click to each other so well..

if i were to use one word to describe abt her, i would say 'superb'..especially when compared to guys, she's really awesome..she love me so much tat i could really feel it in her heart and words,when she touches me and when she says tat she love me,she really mean it..many times,whenever we hav small problems,or im jus plain stressed,i'll quarrel and be harsh to her..but she'll never be harsh to me, and alwiz be patience and apologize..i realize its my fault,and i realize how much she love me tat she wouldnt make me unhappy..even when she's stressed up,she'll calm herself down and talk to me nicely..alwiz looking for a solution..and there we go,back to our happy moments again..she's the first and only person tat made me feel tat i love her too much tat i wouldnt risk our relationship by flirting wit other guys..she's the only one tat made me feel tat clubbing witout her by my side is meaningless..even my close frens feel unbeliable when i could give up clubbing for her..she made me feel to love and be loved..she can be as committed as i am..this is one of the major problem wit most of the guys out thr..im not saying tat thr's no good guy, or no bad tb out thr..but she's jus one of a kind..

everyone hopes tat they could find comeone tat really suits them..and i have found mine..she's so great and she's beside me..my future, is now ours...

thoughts...

waking up in the middle of the nite seems to be,urm..a bit of 'used to' for me now.hav been waking up due to some weird dreams.its either scary, or too adventurous..might be due to my exams tat im too stressed.i couldnt get myself to bed,head keep spinning and spinning around..flashing notes tat i've read..too stress n tension for the exams,i would say...well,this is the first time i'm behaving tis way.to my surprised,and to my fren as well,i started studying two days before the exam(normally i do last min study,as in few hours b4 exam).. mayb i didnt wan to affect my year end results,as im gonna grad by this yr end..

i was in the car this morning,and i suddenly think about my future..i wonder how am i gonna face wit the working world when i completed my degree..how am i gonna produce a 'super' resume so tat ppl will consider interviewing me..wat do i hav,other than tat piece of paper of cert?i wonder...i've never really out on the world,doing office works..and jobs in SG are totally different from those mostly in m'sia..here,u jus need good connections,not much serious interviews to attend..and u got the job..there,i'm not familiar wit anyone,i need to work things out myself..so guess i'll jus hav to learn things from the bottom..how to lead,and be lead..fortunately i hav my bro n sis as my guide in SG,not forgetting daryl for his recommendations for me to work at his company..appreciate his kindness to help me out..

back to here, i still have two more paper to attend to in this semester..couldnt wait for the last day of exam,whr i'll feel so release and could pursue my favourite entertainment of singing-k,shopping and movies non-stop..fabulous stuff i would say..and oso my holiday packages tat i've bought during the matta fair..my fren wonders why i wouldnt join my classmates in a trip to langkawi..thr are few reasons,including monetary,frens and activities..firstly,i wouldnt wan to spend money on holiday witout my hubby..secondly,im not really 'close' to any of my classmates,so it'll be quite boring for me to be thr..thirdly,me n them are not really same 'channel', and i could hardly imagine when we're thr,how are we gonna pursue the activities..nway,witout me doesnt make any difference to them..so,wats the point of me going rite?

another topic to discuss- guys...wondering isit most of the guys are players?even they dun intend to be,but they alwiz did (i guess)..my fren(girl) like to flirt around..she takes it as a kind of..erm, entertainment,i would say..and there are guys all going after her..and i made it visible tat im attached,so even when going out wit them are 'only matter..but sooner or later,they'll start flirting wit me,which i find it funny cos they're going after my fren..though at first i feel pity for them,cos they spend alot on my fren witout asking anything as return..but when they start flirting wit me, it makes me think tat they deserve it..they jus wan ppl to flirt wit them,and not actually intend to make my fren their girlfren..frankly,i dun like guys who are going after my fren and flirting wit me..they made me think tat they're the 'not loyal' kind..lolx..mayb tats why i've turned down on guys..funnily,why guys need to fool around even when they hav a good girlfren at home?its really a maze..tats wat made me think girls are better off in terms of commitment..at least for mine.. :)